I Love People

I had to do a little holiday shopping yesterday, and my travels took me to Babies R’ Us in order to procure a gift card. The concept of doing this terrified me. Why? Because of the exchange I had with a cashier the last time I had to venture to Babies R’ Us to procure a gift card.

It was May when I last waltzed into that pastel Hell. My goal was to get in and out as quick as I could, but fate would deal me a harsher hand. I don’t know why the cashiers at Babies R’ Us are so slow. Maybe they’re saddened by their pastel environment. Maybe it’s the giraffe. I don’t know. All I know is that it took close to ten minutes to get through to the cashier.

That’s when the fun started. What follows is a word-for-word transcription of the dumbest interaction two human beings have ever had.

Cashier (glancing at gift card): “That all for you?”

Me: “Yeah. I need fifteen dollars put on it.”

Cashier: “Okay.” (punches buttons) “You need a gift receipt for that?”

Me: “Huh?”

Cashier: “A gift receipt.”

Me: “Why would I need a gift receipt?”

Cashier: “In case they want to exchange the gift card.”

Me: “Exchange for what?”

Cashier: “Well, for anything in the store.”

Me: “No, thanks.”

You can see why I was afraid. Luckily, I arrived at Babies R’ Us roughly twenty seconds after they opened, and I was able to grab my gift card and leave before the really stupid, depressed people showed up for their shifts.