Why I’m Never Having Kids

New puppy Boris is about twelve weeks old (Shawna will probably correct me on that later), and he has spent the last four weeks keeping Shawna and I from getting a good night’s sleep. Shawna usually takes Boris into the living room at 4:30 or so and sleeps there.

Yes, I feel guilty about that. Boris is her dog, though.

We’re getting to work later than we like. Shawna has to come hope at noon to let Boris out. The whole situation is taxing, and we don’t even have to teach Boris English or moral values. So until the day it’s socially acceptable to crate train your baby, I’m not having kids.