Think Out Loud: SAVAGE TOM

You know what I’ve been thinking about a lot lately? Slasher movies. Ah, that classic staple of the horror genre. Jason, Freddy, the ghost face guy from Scream, and of course my favorite… Michael Myers. Sure, a lot of slasher flicks aren’t the most imaginative things in the world, but they’re hard to top on the fun chart. No matter how bad the film, there’s usually at least one good scare. hell, even Halloween H20 had that scene in the rest stop!

So, I’m thinking about doing my own slasher movie.

Only this one’s a three issue comic series.

And it’s set in the Old West.

There’s a chance I already have an artist lined up for this. The first issue is almost completely written, and it’s a helluva ride so far. This isn’t like your modern day slasher flick. The cops aren’t coming to save your ass. Neither is that mysterious stranger who just wnadered into town. You’re alone, and nothing’s going to save your ass.

Wait. What was that sound?

He’s coming…

Fear of a Tasteless Planet

A quick bit of news. I’m probably going to have a site redesign done soon. The pseudo-playful tone of this one doesn’t really suit where I’m going with the writing. When I do the redesign, I’m going to move Fear of a Tasteless Planet to its own page. I lose a full day of blogging on this every week, and I want that space.

That said…

4206 Duval St

I haven’t been to Hyde Park in over six years, since about a month after I moved to Austin. I’d forgotten how horrifically difficult it is to find parking. Seriously, this is one of the most popular spot in town, and they have something close to ten parking spaces. You can’t blame them, though, they’re a small building crammed into what is largely a residential section of town.

Year after year, the citizens of Austin award Hyde Park with the title of best french fries in the Chronicle Restaurant Poll, so I decided I had to try thse puppies out. Then again, second prize in the same poll usually goes to McDonalds, so who know?

I decided on the half-pound sirloin burger. I paid an extra dollar for a slice of swiss cheese (that had better be some damn good cheese) and some more money for a side of fries. I know this is a local place and all, but fries don’t just come with a burger? With a burger?! You’re kidding me, right?

Okay, so the food arrives, and it’s pretty damn good. The burger a juicy, tasty monstrocity of beef and bread and cheese (yeah, the cheese was pretty good), and the fries were really good. They were light, tasting largely of potatoes and flour. I’m not sure where this best of Austin stuff comes from. I think the fries at Trudy’s kick the tar out of these, but what do I know? I’m a schlub.

Fine, go decide for yourself. I’ll be going back, because there were a lot of things on the menu I still want to try, including the chicken fried steak and the yellowfin tuna sandwich. I’ll have to wait until after payday, though.

Highs: It’s a cool place with good food.
Lows: Dollar cheese? C’mon!

Rating: I Shall Return

Medicine Head

Against my better judgement, I took a shot of NyQuil last night so I could sleep through my cold. Instead of sleeping, though, I somehow woke up at 4:30AM and laid in bed for 1.5 hours.

Now I feel like I’m having an out of body experience.

The Broadcast resumes tomorrow, if I make it.

In Mourning

Until a few years ago, when the product bacame largely unwatchable, I was a big pro wrestling fan. Yes, I know it’s all fake. Thing is, though, I’m a writer, a storyteller, and that what wrestlers are. They take the time they are given in the ring, and they tell a story.

And nobody was better than Eddie Guerrero.

Whether Eddie was a face or a heel, the fans cheered him. They cheered him because they knew. He was the best there was, the perfect package of wrestling, selling, and talking. I remeber an interview he gave with his nephew Chavo, where all he did was say he had a better smile than his opponent, Edge. The promo, which lasted maybe two minutes, brought the entire house down. Eddie was that good.

And Eddie was an inspiration. For years, he battle alcohol and prescription painkillers before hitting rock bottom in Florida four years ago. When he hit bottom, with no job, a wrecked car, and zero prospects, Eddie buckled down. He found Christ and he beat his addictions. Okay, I know I’m an atheist and all, but Eddie did what he needed to do to get better.

And he was better, for four years, he was clean and sober.

And yesterday his nephew found him lying on the floor of his hotel room, his toothbrush still in his mouth.

Eddie Guerrero had died.

Eddie was 38 years old, ancient for the pro wrestling business, really. Toxicology reports won’t be back for weeks, but I’m hopeful they’ll all come back clean. In a statement yesterday, Chavo said Eddie was still clean. His heart just gave out. It’s not hard to believe.

Eddie is dead.

And the ring is empty.

Look, Everybody! Friday!

Didn’t think this day was gonna get here anytime soon.

Looks like I may be coming down with something. I’m hoping it’s allergies, but Randy’s saying things like “I had that on Monday, and it messed me up good.” Hey, Randy. Thanks for encouraging me, man. So, in an effort to head this thing off at the pass, I skipped the STAPLE! meeting last night. I feel better today, but am riddled with guilt. Ah, I’ll take a twelve pack of cooke to gaming tonight, and that will make everything all better.

I’ve decided to quit drinking for a while. Eh, why not?

I also need to work on my diet. Maybe I should, y’know, cook every now and then.

So, when I should have been at the STAPLE! meeting last night, I finished the first script of Lisenced Property Thing and the first draft of what might, hopefully, be a Fear Agent back-up story. I also ate some nachos and fell asleep about an hour earlier than usual.

Gaming tonight. Watching House by the Cemetery and Bio-Zombie tomorrow. I need to get cracking on some more prose.

Artists getting interested in Saint James. That can’t be bad.

Fear of a Tastless Planet

China Cafe
Lake Creek and Hwy 183

The shopping center at the corner of 183 and Lake Creek is a cool little place. The Alamo Drafthouse is there. There’s a Jason’s Deli and a Kinkos I use every so often. On Monday, however, I found the hidden jewel of this little consumer Mecca. It’s one door down from the drafthouse. It’s unassuming.

It’s China Cafe.

Stepping through the doors into China Cafe is fun, because this restaurant is somewhere around a thousand times nicer than any stripmall restaurant should be. The whole place is done in reds and blacks, lit in a subtle way. It’s beautiful. The only thing breaking the image are the neon beer signs over the bar, but we’ll forgive those.

China Cafe’s wait staff is quick, attentive, and sharply dressed. My waiter almost beat me to the table, and my iced tea arrived about four nanoseconds later.

During lunch, you need to get one of the lunch specials. This a heaping helping of food for under seven dollars, the kind of price you’d expect at a greasy take-out place (ah, I live those places). I ordered the Kung Pao Chicken and some hot and sour soup. The soup was incredible, my new favorite in the city, full of tiny slices of green onions and large slices of white mushrooms. Yummy!

And the chicken… ah, that’s the stuff. Heartier than you’d expect, tastey as all get out. The chicken was full of peppers, both chili and bell, and so many other ingredients I couldn’t keep track of them. It wasn’t too hot (I wasn’t sweating by the time I finished), and I sure was full by the time I was done. Barely had room for my eggroll, which was light and crispy, as close to a spring roll as you can get and still be fried.

Yeah, so I’ll be going back. I heading their Saturday. See you there.

Highs: Damn near everything!
Lows: Do we really need a Coors clock?

Rating: Is the cook single?.5

Texas hates gays, and so do you.

Well, it’s just past nine, and so far, 77% of Texans want to ban gay marriage. 77%. More than three quarters.

Fuck all of you.

Y’know what? A lot of you who think gays shouldn’t marry also think it’s because marriage is sacred. The divorce rate is over 50%. You want to make marriage sacred, outlaw divorce. A guy wants to divorce his wife, say “Fine, but we get to cut your dick off.” Bet your ass marriage would suddenly get real fucking sacred.

Oh, and FUCK SACRED. You want to know what God is? Do you? Think you can handle it? One of the earliest Gods was a stone pillar in Egypt that represented a giant cock that came all over the globe and created life. The first God was a cock, folks. Later, we created religion. Why? Because we were afraid of dying, and we wanted to make oursleves feel better. Oh, and we could also write in all of these rules banning the things we didn’t like. That’s the truth. Deal with it for a single fucking second.

You want proof that God exists? You want faith? Go stick your dick up your ass and tell me what it gets you. You follow your own Christian rules? That means God hates your ass, same way your religion dictates you have to hate everybody else. Niggers, fags, cunts, and democrats. It’s in the bible, kids. Go follow your marching orders.

And leave me the fuck alone. My anger is more righteous than your fictional Gods. You show me your God, I’ll bend him over and fuck him in the ass. Oh, and I’ll spin him around with just a second to spare so I can give him a nice, big, Peter North facial.

Just like those motherfuckers he hates.

I hate you all.

More Proposition Two Stuff

This was just sent to my by Shawna, via one of her friends. I found it timely.

10 reasons why gay marriage should be illegal

Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong

01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Back from Arlington

Wizard World Texas was a pretty good show for Frequency Press. We sold quite a few books (a lot more Rundberg’s than Drive’s), and we had a helluva good time. This was in spite of being set up next to a first class poacher (somebody who poaches your customers away from your table. Example: “You like zombies? Our book has zombies, and it’s a lot cheaper then their book!”). Summer Glau now has a copy of Rundberg to read (this also somehow involved the poacher, but I’m sketchy on details), so that’s cool. I’ll have more details once I replace my digital camera’s batteries and can retrieve the pics I took.

So, I took yesterday off, recuperating from our late trip home (trip involved a several mile detour for Bueno, which is apparently God’s favorite fastfood taco) and getting some writing done. My Boot Camp binder also showed up, so I have over 1200 pages to read over the next few weeks. Ah, work!

And I get to vote after work today. I’m voting no on Proposition Two, which would constitutionally ban gay marriage in Texas. It’s probably going to pass (fuggin’ crackers), but I have to try.

Fear of a Tasteless Planet tomorrow, when I tell you about the wonder that is China Cafe.