The Sopranos are back

And to say I was underwhelmed would be like saying Colorado has some nice, gently rolling hills.

Beware. This may have spoilers from last night’s episode and previous seasons in it.

I can say, in all honesty, that the season premiere of The Sopranos was one of the most boring hours of television I’ve ever seen. One hour focusing mostly on a character we’ve never seen before, ending with his suicide. Oh, and Tony likes sushi. Don’t forget that important nugget.

Remember two seasons ago when it looked like Paulie was going to flip to Johnny Sack’s crew? Hell, remember when Paulie was allowed to speak? Remember when lines were being drawn and it looked like everything was gonna go to hell in a handbasket? In other words, remember when things used to happen on this show?

So here’s what we learned last night…

Janice and Bobby had a baby, and Bobby looks funny in a train conductor hat.

Carmela sees an imaginary Adriana who looks much classier than real Adriana ever did.

Meadow dances for her weaselly lookin’ fella.

AJ finally lost his baby fat, probably because Robert Iler is coked up.

Oh, and Tony likes sushi.

And that’s about it.

And the shocking ending? What shocks me is, once Junior started showing signs of dementia, nobody thought to take away his guns! C’mon, people! If anybody knows how dangerous a gun can be, I think it would be the head of a Mafia family!

So, my interest in The Sopranos has officially disappeared. Maybe if next week’s episode starts with Tony’s funeral, I’ll grow interested again, but we know that’s not going to happen.