Reality TV explains religion

I was watching Hell’s Kitchen with Shawna last night, and something amazing happened. 

They explained religion. 

See, on this particular reality show, a team of men and a team of women compete for the chance to be the executive chef at their own restaurant.  They do this by competing in a series of challenges and dinner services.  The loser of the dinner service loses a member of their team.  This continues until there is only one cook standing.

What’s fun is the various little challenges.  These can be anything from trimming and cutting the most perfect steaks to preparing dishes within a certain amount of time.  Well, last night the guys lost and were forced to clean, press, and fold all of the kitchen’s laundry.  The women got to spend a day on a yacht.

Now, last night’s epiphany came when the women returned and started talking shit to the guys, giving them such choice barbs as “Wash my laundry, baby!” and “I spent all day on a yacht!”  As trash-talking goes, it wasn’t awesome, but it was appropriately irritating.  So, as the women are leaving, one of the men calls back “Better have my dinner ready when I get home from work!”

And one of the women freaked out.

Now, yeah, the guy said a sexist thing.  I’m not denying that, but he said it in response to be berrated and taunted for several minutes.  But this woman’s reaction was to go back to the dorm and yell about how she was being held down.  The best quote was “I’m not your wife, and I’m not your girlfriend, so I don’t have to cook your dinner.”  This, of course, sounds like she thinks she should have to cook him dinner if they were in a relationship.

It was about this time that I realized reality television is a an excellent study of modern religion.  Because only people can think it’s cool to talk shit to somebody and then get pissed when they get some of their own medicine.

Much like how mankind can invent a God, and then kill each other because they didn’t bother to create the same God.

I mean, let’s think about it for a second.  The Crusades, The Spanish Inquisition, the current Israel/Palestine situation.  Here’s a bunch of Muslims routed from the area they settled because the area they settled is A Holy Place!  So the sides respond with suicide bombers on one side and American-supplied tanks and nuclear arms on the other side.

Both sides believe they are right and the other side is evil.

And people don’t realize how ridiculous this all is.

Well, I do, but I have an unfair advantage as an atheist.

A wiser man than me once said “Mankind will never grow or have peace until they abandon the notion of God and religion.”  A friend of mine said the same thing as “Even the ancient Greeks eventually said ‘Fuck Poseidon.  I’m getting in the boat.'”

So, there you have it, religion summed up by two whiners on a reality show.  Just give that a seconds thought the next time you get ready to pray.

2 thoughts on “Reality TV explains religion

  1. But what’s it really about? It’s really about territory – Hell’s Kitchen, The Middle East, religion, you name it. Even if you belive in god, it’s right there on the face of it – God wants souls and the devil wants souls – territory. And if you ARE atheist (as I am) it’s even more about territory – God wants his people to have this place. Why can’t I go into a catholic church and read the koran? Or a synagogue and read the bible? Because that place belongs to ANOTHER GOD! It belongs to his tribe – your tribe isn’t allowed. Fuckin bizarre, you ask me.
    And don’t get me started on “I want you to love me and I’ll punish you if you don’t, but you have a choice…” Like, “give me the money or I shoot your sister. Your choice.” If god’s not committing armed robbery using eternity as a hostage, I don’t know what he’s doing…

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