My Big Mouth

Posted on November 30, 2006

Between the hours of midnight and 6AM this morning, the temperature in Austin dropped close to forty degrees. Sure, it’s happening across the country right now. No big deal. Down here, however, I have cornered myself.

See, I tend to complain about Austin’s lack of seasons (real seasons. “football” and “hunting” don’t count). I’d like to see hills full of gold, orange, and red leaves, or be able to go sledding or have a snowball fight once a year or so. Or to light a fire in the fireplace when it’s less than sixty degrees out. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

To the average Austinite, however, it means I like to walk around naked in drifts of snow, unable to feel the cold wind cutting into my naked flesh.

No, I’m not sure how one translates into another, either.

What I keep neglecting to mention is the reason I can stand cold weather. I don’t go out in it. Snowball fights and sledding, a trip to the chili parlor or a drive around to look at holiday lights. Those are just about the only reasons you need to go out in the winter weather. That’s all. I should probably add walking the dog, becuase I’d most likely get stabbed in the neck if I told my girlfrend it was too cold for the boy from Indiana to help her out on that front. That’s it, though. Nothing else.

So remember these wise words my Southern friends. And folks up North, throw a snowball for me.

There I go, shooting off my big mouth again.

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