My attempts at sleeping last night could best be described as farcical.Â Unless, of course, I’m not using that word correctly.Â If that’s the case, please insert the correct adjective.
It went something like this…
9:20PM: Put Simon in computer room for the night.Â This is so I can sleep uninterrupted.
10:15: Turn out light, go to bed.
10:30: Wake up, let Boris outside.
10:35: Back in bed.
11:15: Boris lays on my feet.Â I kick him off.
12:03AM: Left shoulder sore, roll over.
12:30: Right shoulder sore, roll onto back.
12:32: Snoring.Â Shawna punches my arm and tells me to, “Fucking stop it.”
12:35: I hold my breath until I pass out.
3:19: Greta climbs onto bed and paws my chest.Â I get up to let her out.
3:21: Greta starts peeing.
3:27: Still peeing.
3:30: I open the back door and call for Greta.Â A dozen neighboring dogs go apeshit.
3:32: Now I have to pee.
3:34: Back to bed.
4:00: Left shoulder.
4:15: Right shoulder.
4:40: Back to sleep.
5:15: Sadie sits on my throat, says she wants to be fed.Â Shawna tells me to ignore her.
5:17: Sadie insists.
5:18: Sadie goes in room with Simon.Â Back to sleep.
5:45: Alarm goes off.
And that’s how my night went!