The joys of picking through garbage
Posted on August 12, 2008
Bulk pick up began yesterday, and now our neighborhood is filled with gigantic things nobody wants anymore (and boxes of small things because people are idiots who can’t read the bulk pick up directions). This also means out neighborhood is now being attacked by scavengers.
Sunday night, I saw no less than three trucks with trailers cruise through the streets, their drivers stopping to grab everything that might be worth three cents or more. One trailer had three mattresses strapped to each side. I even watched them pull over and inspect some more mattresses before pulling off without them, as if to say, “No honey, this garbage is not up to our high garbage-picking standards.”
Sunday night, Shawna and I left a rusted-out grill, broken arts and craftsy windmill, an office chair that looks like it’s been mauled by a bear, and two old toilets on our curb. Two days later, only the toilets remain. Scavengers have taken everything else. They’ve even taken the toilet seats and tank lids.
I mean, I know times are getting tough and our economy is falling apart… but toilet tank lids? This is what you’re scavenging?
Sometimes I just don’t know.
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They were stupid terrorist scavengers sent to retrieve “American Tank Parts.” Make sure you don’t throw away any “roach bombs,” or “hot glue guns.”
People will take anything. Our town has a clean-up day twice a year, and it’s rare that anything of mine actually makes it to the clean-up truck.
I refer to the scavengers in my ‘hood as “creatures.” The creatures will take anything that’s not a shopping cart. This is what I have learned.