Attention!

I’ve been in a bad mood for two days since somebody pulled a hit and run on my car on Saturday, snapping off the driver’s side mirror and cracking the windshield. Funny stories will continue tomorrow.

Bye, Tess!

My friend Tess is moving to L.A. next week. She’s been accepted into film school. Knock ’em dead, Tess!

Oh, and I was out until 2AM with her last night. That’s why the rest of the WHC report isn’t up.

World Horror Con Report: Wednesday and Thursday

Disclaimer: I’m tired and accept no responsibility for typos or grammar errors.

Wednesday

After getting to the Austin airport early enough to grab a cheeseburger from Matt’s Famous El Rancho (Austin has the best airport food in the world), I boarded my flights to San Francisco and began my weekend. I need to throw out a quick mention that Continental has the worst carry on policy in existence. When I cram a bunch of crap into a backpack, I don’t want somebody to follow me onto the plain with a full suitcase and a guitar. Under no definition is that “Carry On.”

So I hit San Fran like a motherfucker, throwing my stuff into my hotel room (saying hi to my new roommate, Bailey Hunter of Dark Recesses), and then heading straight to the bar. In the elevator I ran into two coke-heads who I would eventually learn were Kelli and Kelly of Horror-Web. For the rest of the weekend, whenever something vibrant and loud was going on, I’d find at least one Kelli/y.

We hit the bar as a unit, and Brian Keene practically popped out of his seat to administer hugs. Say what you will about the Keene and his online persona. I’ve never met a nicer guy. In fact, he walked me around the tables, introducing me to every writer, editor and publisher.

“This is Nate Southard. He’s my protege.”

In the following days, he would introduce both myself and Steven Shrewsbury (Shrews) in this manner.

Speaking of which, Brian introduced me to Shrews and Minh, who would be my amigos for the whole fucking weekend. Between the three of us, there wasn’t a liquor, bookstore, or restaurant that was not our bitch.

So we all hung out for a bit, then ran to a pizza place to get dinner before running to catch Lost.

So there’s me, Brian, Kelli, and Don Koish of Necessary Evil Press watching Lost. Brian’s sweating over Sawyer, and I’m telling everybody how Eko makes me wish I was gay. Liquor is passed around, and Don nearly kills himself on some fucked up apple liquor. Brian prank calls Maurice Broaddus, and all of us team up to kill two cases of Corona the Kelli/y’s paid for. Kelli fluffed her pillow by smacking Cullen Bunn(who has a beautiful-looking Oni series coming out in April) in the face with it over and over again. We ran down to the bar, closing it out, and I talked to a Kelly Laymon who could do nothing but stare at my mouth. She would later cast her dinner about the sidewalk and elevator (at least, that’s what I was told).

At 2AM, I went to bed.

Thursday

Thursday was the first day of the con-proper, so of course I spent most of it walking with Brian, Shrews, Kelli, Minh, Jim Moore, Solow, Christopher Golden, and a few others over many, many block to go check out Isotope Comics. On the way, we cut through the Tenderloin district, and I got to see the O’Farrell porn theater and strip club.

I did not jerk off in celebration, but I took a picture.

I’m happy to report that everybody agreed with me that the Isotope is the greatest comics shop in the world. James Sime provided us with three cases of beer, and Larry Young came out to say hi and ask me to sign the copy of Drive he had purchased. Lots of comics were bought, and lots of beer was drunk, then we walked fourteen blocks back to the hotel.

The rest of the day was spent checking out Brian’s reading (it was incredible), having Shrews introduce me to William Jones of Elder Signs Press, who agreed to let me pitch A Family Matter to him, eating more pizza with a dash of Chinese thrown in, and attending the wondrous Borderlands Books Party.

Where there was free beer and a bathroom in plain sight of a public basketball court.

That night, there was more drinking and schmoozing. I attended the party on the 7th floor (I can’t remember who threw it, just that there was MORE free beer. I think I crawled into bed at 2:30 or so, but details are fuzzy. During this day, I met Nate Kenyon and his lovely wife Nicole, Larry Roberts of Bloodletting Books, Steve Lukac, Jim, John Hay, Mary Sangiovanni, Dan and Suzanne (or is it Susan?) of The Other Dark Place, Weston Ochse, and a slew of others.

I’m Back

And I’m in pain. After numerous weather delays, sprinting up and down the Houston airport (probably a mile or more) from Terminal E to C to E again, I arrived home four to five hours late. I’m beat. My whole body hurts, and I’m going back to bed as soon as I finish this. The last time I ran that much was in high school, and it sure wasn’t at a sprint. The muscles in my shins are dead, unable to move my feet, so I have to flop them around when I walk.

But I had a great time. I’ll tell you about it later.

Ready for flight

Sorry I haven’t been posting as much as I used to. Once again, I’m trying to narrow this down to mostly writing news. On top of that, I’m leaving for San Francisco and World Horror Con in two days. So I’ve been busy. Not a lot of time to sit and keep folks updated.

So, yeah. World Horror. I’m going out there to sell stories. It’s a bit of a lofty goal for somebody with my, shall we say, limited bibliography, but I’m nothing if not lofty. I’ll be looking for publishers for my novellas Run Like Hell and Tower Four, as well as for my novel A Family Matter. On top of all that, I’ll also be talking up the collaboration I’m working on. It’s with somebody who’s got a bit more profile than me, so that helps.

And I have people watching out for me. Oh, yes I do.

This is probably my last broadcast before next Monday or Tuesday. Have fun, be safe, and I’ll see you later.

San Francisco Signing

Friday, May 12, from 8-10PM, I’ll be taking part in the World Horror Con’s Mass Signing. I’ll try to to get close enough to Brian Keene to not get lost in the shuffle, and I’ll have copies of Drive and Rundberg to sell. Come see about me.

Hey, Fellas!

This is a friend of mine. She’s one of my most treasured friends, as she put up with the wreck that was me throughout high school and the years after. Hell, she even put up with the wreck that was my friends. She also introduced me to Jeff Buckley and Cold Water Flat. That’s bonus points right there.

She’s feeling a little low right now, feeling unwanted.

But I think she’s cute as a button.

So we’re gonna help her.

I want every guy reading this to tell me why they think she’s adorable, cute, sexy, lickable… whatever. Let’s make this lady feel wanted. Girls, you can do this, too. She’ll appreciate it, and she deserves the good tidings. She’s that cool.

Look at this…

Ain’t that cool? C’mon, people!

Here, I’ll get you started…

I have it on good authority that she is both ticklish and like’s having her armpits bitten. You know anybody else with that cool a quirk? I didn’t fucking think so!

So send me those praises. Email is natesouthard@(remove this)yahoo.com. I’ll forward them to her and make her fucking month!

You have your orders. Hop to!

Writing and Food

Ah, two of my favorite things. If I ever get to the point where I can work from home, I’ll probably spend every non-writing moment cooking. Or maybe playing video games. I currently can’t play video games because Shawna would make the dogs eat my hands.

Shawna is anti-gamer.

Well, this past weekend I got to finish up my San Francisco stuff, then I launched into a new writing project. It’s an exciting one, my first collaboration with another writer. Makes me a little nervous, but in a good way. More on this one later.

And… food!

Last Friday, Shawna and I hoofed it over to Hoover’s Cooking. We were unaware that Hoover’s has been a mainstay on Manor Road for several years. We just thought it was a new place opening up on 183, so we were unprepared for how freakin’ wunnnerful this Southern Comfort Food was gonna be. I ordered the cajun catfish, and Shawna ordered the jerk chicken. She didn’t know she was about to receive half a chicken, and I had no idea I was going to get two large fillets. We ate like kings, sucking down delicious food, and all for just over $30.

Sunday, my buddy Randy took a bunch of us to Fajita Warehouse. We ordered family-style, the entire table sharing meats such as chicken, blackened chicken (tastes like… chicken), pulled pork, brisket, skirt steak, shrimp, and salmon. I got to try the pork, steak, and both chickens. All was good, and all was very filling. I barely made it home before my full belly put me to sleep.

Thanks Randy!

Weekend of Work

This weekend I’ll be finishing up my stuff for World Horror. Three synopses to check and refine. What fun, what fun!

In addition, I get to start working on a new project. No, I’m not telling you what it is. I can only say I’m very excited about it, and it involves collaborating in a way I’ve never attempted before. Could turn out fantastic, could be a disaster.

Oh, and I’m helping a friend move on SUnday (I think it was Sunday).

Have a good weekend, folks!